Lately I have been overwhelmed with the
fact that I’m not succeeding. Basically failing everything, I let my stress, worries, and fears take over.
Failings in my job, career search, art,
relationships, living arrangements, finances. I felt judged and lost. Crying for my future that seemed to be so clouded. I just wanted to run away from it all. So I went to a friend's place where I didn't feel judged, and hid from the world for a while. The thing that pulled me out of my pit of despair was the truth of the gospel. My friend read some verses, I don't even remember what they were, but they were about Jesus. I had been so stressed over these things in my life, that in the end, won't even matter. My selfish heart longed for praise from people instead of desiring to please God. I needed to give my hearts desires up to God. I thought I had before, but my concern for the way the world measures success had gotten in the way. The world, culture, my family, school, they all perceive success in getting what you want, being on top, being the best, being known in the world. But God doesn't measure success like that.
"15 Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father[d] is not in them. 16 For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the world. 17 The world and its desires pass away, but whoever does the will of Godlives forever." -1John 2 15-17 NIV
A long time ago, Jesus saved my soul through his death and resurrection. When I believed in him, I also gave my life to him. I'm here for one purpose, to further the kingdom of God. Success in God's eyes is following Jesus Christ and following the Holy Spirit's promptings. Regardless of the outcome, because my expectations are from my earthly point of view. Simple obedience is the starting point.
"'For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,' declares the Lord." -Isaiah 55:8 NIV
17
My career of choice has nothing to do with it unless God sees fit that I can share Jesus with the people in that place. I have heard many times that as Christians, we should be different from the world. The Bible tells people to act a different way from their culture. I need to act and think differently for God. I need to stop chasing after success of this world and start chasing after success in my Saviour.
"Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. 2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will." -Romans 12:1-2 NIV
"'For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,' declares the Lord." -Isaiah 55:8 NIV
17
My career of choice has nothing to do with it unless God sees fit that I can share Jesus with the people in that place. I have heard many times that as Christians, we should be different from the world. The Bible tells people to act a different way from their culture. I need to act and think differently for God. I need to stop chasing after success of this world and start chasing after success in my Saviour.
"Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. 2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will." -Romans 12:1-2 NIV
Since I have hope in Jesus Christ, repentance and giving up everything, is the most freeing feeling ever. It is followed by praise and thanksgiving flowing from a joyful heart. I have thanked God for showing me this so much in the past few days. I wish there were more words for thank you.
"4 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." -Philippians 4:4-7 NIV
"4 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." -Philippians 4:4-7 NIV
If you want to check out something in the Bible that relates to this, the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart on this subject through James 4, but really it is the gospel of Jesus Christ that is the point.
"16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son,that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.17 For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. 18 Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because they have not believed in the name of God’s one and only Son." - John 3:16-18 NIV
Thank you for that encouraging and honest post, Katie. I often feel like you have described. Thank you for the reminder of God's truth as compared to the world's idea of success. I'm glad you had a friend who helped you, and that you're passing the blessings on!
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