Screamers

So we met her new boyfriend at the party.
“This is Charlie. He’s in the band.”
“So Charlie, what instrument do you play?”
In a hoarse voice he answered, “I do back ground vocals.”
Turned out, he’s the screamer in the band.

How would you like to be known as the screamer for a band? Metal bands like to have screaming in their music, but I found out that some bands have one person who is their “screamer.” They prefer to be called a vocalist, but we all know what they’re actually doing. They are destroying their voices to further help teenagers rebel against their parents by listening to what their mother’s would call “demon worshiping” music. It’s all in the screaming. I am not completely against screaming in music, but most of the time it gets on my nerves. So if that’s your dream to be the “screamer” in a band, go for it. But I would take a second to consider the consequences. Do you really want to learn sign language when you turn thirty because you’ve destroyed your vocal chords to the point of being completely mute for the rest of your life? Happy screaming!

(The short conversation at the top is fictional. Any similarities to actual persons or boyfriends are pure coincidence.)